Monday, April 8, 2013

An Opera About A Five Headed God Dragon And Some Other Ideas Worse Than That, Part 4

Mr S, how many blog entries does it take to get to the center of the freakishly overrated 3e adventure module known as The Red Hand of Doom?
A...one
A...two
A...three
Three!
No, look, it keeps going.
Why aren't you wearing any clothes?

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Here's what I learned in Red Hand of Doom Part Three: The Ghostlord's Lair

The Ghostlord is real!

The Ghostlord is a bad lich!

The Ghostlord is what Chapter 3 of Red Hand of Doom is about!

The Ghostlord's phylactery is stumbled upon by the party in the last chapter!

The Ghostlord will help the bad guys unless the party stops him!

The Ghostlord has an extensive backstory that doesn't come into play!

The Ghostlord used to be a druid!

The Ghostlord has a lion motif just like the city of...I can't remember, one of the cities in the book!

That doesn't come into play!

The Ghostlord has 10 magic rings and he gave five of them to color coded magical mechanical lion golems! No wait, he didn't but that would be cool right?

The Ghostlord lives in a wood with random encounters!

The Ghostlord's house is a stone lion!

The Ghostlord's house is surrounded by flying ghost lions!

That sounds like a thrift store T-shirt!

The Ghostlord has another thing that they don't just come out and call a dragon but, which, come on, is a dragon!

The Ghostlord doesn't lock his doors!

The Ghostlord has a friend named Ulwai Stormcaller who looks like if Vincent from Beauty and the Beast had a kid with Starfire from the Teen Titans and she grew up to be an S&M hippie with bard levels who wrote an opera dedicated to the glory of Tiamat worth 1,000gp!

The Ghostlord's house is full of Doom Fist Monks and Doom Hand Clerics!

The Ghostlord chapter has invisible monsters again!

The Ghostlord is like guess what's in the pool! What? A lion.
The Ghostlord just wants his phylactery back, so once the PCs break into his house, kill everyone in it, and trawls through his stuff, he lets them go if they give it back!

The Ghostlord Chapter takes more than half the length of the entire Keep On The Borderlands pages to tell you all that and pretty much nothing else!


Fuck!
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2 comments:

WQRobb said...

I've played this part of the adventure, and its about when I really stopped caring.

WQRobb said...

"it's," I mean.